“Wife to Santa : “You don’t love me at all”
Santa points towards their five children and says “Do you think I downloaded them from google..
Santa Singh was reading Financial Times..
Headline reads.. “Microsoft buys Skype for $8.5 billion.”
He says..”Hai Rabba, khareedeya kyon.. Download kar lehnda..” :-p
“Santa:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, “I AM GOING”?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
Santa:- abey, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain….answer bata ke jaa..
A donkey kicked Santa & ran away
Santa ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said ‘SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’..
“Santa went to president Obama
Santa : I want to become the president of the united states of America
Obama : are you an idiot?
…
Santa : why?
Obama : because it is necessary to be an idiot if u have to become the president of USA”
Santa applied in a medical college but never cleared it as these were his answers:
Antibody: one who hates his/her body….!
Artery: Study of painting….!
Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria….!
Coma: punctuation mark..!
… Genes: Blue Denim….!
Labor pain: hurt at work….!
Ultrasound: Radical Sound….!
Cardiology: advance study of playing cards….! !!
“Santa & Banta in US eating Hotdogs for da first time.
Santa opens da bread, looks inside, feels embarrassed & asks Banta,
which part of dog did u get?”
“Santa-Mujhe Sanskrit Sikha do!
Pndit-Q?
Snta-Devtao ki Bhasha Hai,
Swarg Me Zarurat Padegi
Pndit-Agr Narak Gya To?
Snta-GaaliYa To Aati Hai!
“Santa: Bhabiji ka naam kya hai?
Banta: Google Kaur
Santa: Eh? Ye kya naam hai?
Banta: Ek sawaal karo, dus jawaab milega!!
Santa to bill Gates:
Tusi bade pagal ho!
… Gates: Why?
Santa: surname Gates rakha hai. Or business WINDOWS da
karde ho ji.?
anta and Banta in a discussion.
Santa: If I drink coffee, I can’t sleep.
Banta: With me it`s the opposite. If I sleep, I can`t drink coffee. .
Banta: Why is it said that behind every successful man, there is a woman?
Santa: Stupid, don’t you see women chasing successful men, so they got to be behind while chasing!..
Santa: Why are you crying, darling?
Jeeto: I baked a cake and the dog ate it all up.
Santa: Don’t worry, I will get you another dog.
Santa: I do not want to marry coz I am afraid of women.
Banta: Get married soon, then u’ll be afraid of only one woman & start loving all other women! ..!
Judge: Why were u arrested?
Santa: For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that’s not a crime. Anyway, how early were u shopping?
Santa: Before the shop opened. ..
Santa: Dear son, this time you have to get at least 95% marks.
Pappu: No dad, I will get 100% this time.
Santa: Why are u telling a joke?
Pappu: Who started first?
Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.
Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap..!!!
“Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, every time it returned to me.”.
“Santa’s Father brought a NEW SIM CARD..
Santa saved that Number in his Mobile Phone as,
.
.
… .
.
.
.
.
.
.
“New Father”".
“teacher: name a device whch turns your thoughts into speech
.
.
.
.
… .
.
.
.
santa: daaruu madam ji (alcohol)
Santa Khali Bhaitha Tha,
Banta Oye Kya Kar Raha Hai,
Santa : Badla Le Raha Hu,
Banta : Kaise,
Santa : Waqt Ne Muje Barbad Kiya, Ab Me Waqt Ko Barbad Kar Raha Hu….!!
Santa (B.COM) saw a poster at a police station. ” 2 ENGINEERS Wanted for Rape! ” Santa: shit man! These Engineers always get the best Jobs ..!! ” 
) …:P
Santa k ghar mehman aaey huay thay Santa : Thanda peo ge ya garam? . Mehman: Thanda . Santa : Nimbu pani ya pepsi? . Mehmaan: Pepsi . Santa : Bottle mein peo gay ya glass me? . Mehmaan: Glass me. . Santa : Saade glass ma ya design wala? . Mehmaan: Design wala Santa : Sorry Yaar hamaray ghar me aisa glass nahi hay.. ..:P
Old is gold Santa to Banta.Yaar kal Biwi ka birthday hai koi aisa Gift batao k seedha ous k dil mein utarr jaye??…….Banta. Tou phir Gooli maar de:P
Santa apne dost ko khat lekh raha tha Mere dost mere behan Maan banane wale hay Leken mujhy maloom nhe hay k beta ho ga ya bete Or Mujhy ye bhe maloom nhe hay k mein mama bano ga ya Mami
Santa and Chikku Purpose same girl!!!But Santa left her and search the new one… but Chikku Still following her Santa to Chikku – Dude why are you still following her ? She already has a boyfriend!!!!…Awesome reply by Chikku Khali Kursi pe toh Koi bhi Baith sakta hai Dum hai to Kisi ko utha ke baitho
Santa
was getting bitten by mosquitoes the
whole night. He got
irritated…
drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon,
sab maroge
Santa :- I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.Bania :- That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend:p
Santa’s teacher sent a note home to his mother saying…”Santa seems to be a very bright boy,but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.”The mother wrote back the next day:-”If you find a solution,please advise.I have the same problem with his father!
Santa:Bachpan vich maa di gal suni hondi ty aj aey din na vekna painda…Judge: Kya kehti thi maa?Santa: Jadoun gal hi nahi suni tay fir ki dasaan
Santa raat ko ghar pe jaldi aya aur soch rha tha ki aaj kya kaam karna tha?Sochte-sochte subah k 4 baj gaye. , fir yaad aya.Oye teri……aaj to jaldi sona tha !!
Santa ki BV:”Rat kafi hogai hai par santa ji nhi ay, zror koi larki ka chakr hai”Santa ki maa:Hmesha bura hi sochna kya pata ksi truck k nechy aa gya ho !!
Santa- “Doctor saahab, mujhe barabar yahi sapna dikhta hai ki mere paas se hokar sundar-sundar ladkiya teji se bhaag rahi hai|”Doctor- “Usme mujhse kya chaahte ho?”Santa- “Aap aisi dava dee jiye ki ya to un ladkiyo ki raftaar kuch kam ho jaye ya meri badh jaye!!